This feature was first published in Journeys Winter 2020.
This article was written by high school personal academic counselor Dr. Jeff Devens.

When will the cafeteria open? When will we have our "free" period? Will we be able to travel for Interim Semester? Are we going to have a traditional graduation ceremony? And when can we stop wearing these masks?! These questions, posed by students in my advisory, were left unanswered. Like them, I too have questions. Who will serve as the next president of the United States? When will we have a vaccine for the COVID-19 virus? Will we be able to travel to the United States during winter break? I'm writing this article in September, you're reading it in December. Several of these posed questions now have answers, and new questions have taken their place.

The ability to anticipate and predict change is a powerful emotional pull. Clinical psychologist and professor at Georgetown University Jelena Kecmanovic notes, "Uncertainty is fertile ground for anxiety and fear because we don't know what's going to happen." The need for certainty is so powerful it can lead us to make faulty predictions and actions. Our brains perceive ambiguity as a threat and try to protect us by diminishing our ability to focus on anything other than creating certainty. During adolescence, anxiety commonly manifests in academics, interpersonal relationships, and athletic and artistic performance. Without healthy coping skills, kids are prone to maladaptive outcomes. How can adults help?

Help kids focus on what they can control— their reactions
Living in uncertain times means having to navigate situations and circumstances we can't control. Many of us long to be with family and friends outside of Singapore; however, the reality is we may not be able to travel for some time. Kids will need help learning how to respond to such life events. Emotional regulation is a skill, and in school settings, educators can model, coach, and practice this skill with students. However, parents are the primary teachers. Sharing stories, life events, and personal experiences are good ways for helping kids to learn how to regulate their emotions and respond to uncertainty.

Focus on one day at a time
What decisions can your child actively focus on in the present? If necessary, break the day into individual classes (i.e., what do we need to do to make it through period one today?) instead of seeing the entire day as a whole. After this, move on to the next task until they come to the end of the day. Repeat this the following day, and so on. There's an old passage from the Bible as timely today as when written a few thousand years ago, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Each day has enough trouble of its own. Help kids take the focus off the future and live in the present.

Help kids get the focus off of their grades
Why list academic performance amid COVID-19 uncertainties? Regardless of world events, when it comes to grades, uncertainty and anxiety abound...for both kids and parents! The unknown of grades often means kids and parents are on a performance anxiety merry-go-round. When it comes to learning, it's not competition and hard work that cause stress and mental health issues for kids. It's fear and anxiety regarding their grades. Sadly, I've seen this theme play out for nearly 20 years at SAS. At what cost? Every student at SAS will have the opportunity to attend university. If the belief is that university is destiny, or that there are only a few good universities to attend and the rest quite frankly stink, then uncertainty and anxiety will abound. Help kids focus on the process of learning, not the product.

Help kids recognize that uncertainty can have an upside as well
Think about the suspenseful books, movie sequels, new job postings, promotions, retirement, or a host of other unknowns that have filled you with awe, wonder, surprise, and gratitude. In the past several months, I have had several conversations with parents who spoke of how the COVID-19 situation drew them closer as a family, "forcing" them to slow down and recalibrate what is essential in life. In some cases, these families have made significant life changes—changes for the better.

What about you? In what ways are you viewing uncertainty as an opportunity for growth?

Journeys, our print publication, shares current, in-depth stories written by and for members of our school community. It is mailed to current families, faculty, staff, and alumni in December and June. If you are interested in contributing an article to Journeys, email communications@sas.edu.sg. Read more articles here.