“John?”

“Present.”

“Amika?”

“Present.”

“Louis?”

“Louis?”

“He’s absent.”

If ‘attendance’ is taken for any given conversation you have during the day, how often can you truly say, “Present”?

Each day we have around 65,000 thoughts coming through our brains. As nervous systems continually take in data through our senses, thoughts are often the results of the processes in our minds. How often do your thoughts take you away from the ‘Here and Now’ – from being ‘present’?

In the book Crazy Stressed, Michael Bradley mentions that the greatest gift we can give our kids is to be present when we are talking with them. What is it like for you in a conversation when the other person is totally attentive? When you can tell through their eye contact and facial expressions that they are listening, when they reflect on what you have said so you know if they have heard correctly, and when they ask open-ended questions that show they want to know more because they are interested. What does this do for you?

Often, this kind of conversation connects us with others, builds relationships, and it feels...good! Not only may we learn more about our views on the topic from someone’s attentiveness in conversations, but also how we too can be present and helpful in our other relationships.

Terrific things can happen in relationship building when we are with our kids and can remind ourselves to put aside our (phones!) thoughts of later and yesterday, and when we can say, “I’m here with you now, and you are what is important to me.” 

In Aldous Huxley’s book on utopia, Island, mynah birds are trained to fly around saying, “Here and Now.” Let us remind ourselves of this, here and now.