"It's the most wonderful time of the year
With the kid's jingle belling
And everyone telling you be of good cheer
It's the most wonderful time of the year"

Traditionally Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the Christmas season...not so in Singapore. Here, the holiday season kicks off shortly after Halloween, signaled by the hanging of lights on Orchard Road. For the record, this year Christmas is sponsored by Hitachi and Disney. With celebrations and gift giving, there's also an underlying current of stress for some high school students. The season of giving also includes the giving of exams. In the course of these next few weeks, teachers and students will busily be completing units, taking formative assessments, and preparing for semester exams. However, the stakes ARE NOT as high as students and some parents perceive. In many cases, the grades students have earned going into finals will be the one they end the semester with. Nevertheless, as kids prepare for exams so too do parents. Some anticipate sleepless nights, low emotional regulation, and irregular dietary regulation. Of course, I'm referring to kids. ;)

During finals week it's not uncommon to make allowances for teens behavior(s) due to their heightened state performance stress; however, this doesn't have to be the template. Instead, there's a better path.

1) Frame reality:  Have a conversation with your teen looking over their current progress. For each class ask the following questions; 

A) Do you think the grade you've earned in the course is an accurate reflection of your learning?

B) How do you think the final exams will impact your final grade?

C) Reiterate your expectations regarding grades in general. Hopefully, the focus is on the process of learning (i.e., study habits) and not the product (i.e., the grades they earn).

2) Encourage them to work out a study timeline for exams: Trying to prepare for all of the exams at one time is akin to exercising for 8 hours straight and expecting significant gains. This isn't the way of healthy-balanced exercise, nor is it the way of healthy learning. In order to retain and recall information daily rehearsal is necessary, not cramming. It’s far better to study 30 minutes over three days than 1.5 hours the night before an exam. During finals week students will have a maximum of two exams per day.

3) Say "NO" to all-nighters: Some kids believe the way to achieving high marks is to cram the night before; however, sleep is the primary means by which information is transferred from short to long-term memory. Some kids will need to work through the process of underperformance in order to realize the need for a good night’s sleep.

4) Eat well: Parents, one helpful way to support kids through finals week is by having scheduled meal times and healthy snacks available. Keeping one's body and brain fueled with healthy food aids in concentration and memory retention.

5) Self-group-parent-study sessions: It is a common practice for high schoolers to work online with others as they prepare for exams. This is the 21st-century version of a study session. In some cases (some) this will be beneficial; however, having a cut off time from peers will be important for self-rehearsal. Parents may be tempted to work alongside their teen helping them prep for certain finals, doing so often brings kids and parents into conflict. Asking for help from you is a good strategy but working alongside them through the finals process often backfires. For the most part, let the kids do the work of preparing for exams.

Finally, the results...

Keep in mind the grades students earn are reflective of the learning throughout the entire semester, not simply the final exam results.